


if only this was enough

by nitorisource



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, another one of those sousuke crying in the shower and makoto coming to comfort him scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-15 09:08:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2223411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nitorisource/pseuds/nitorisource
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They both pretend that the small kisses Makoto plants on his shoulders are all that's needed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if only this was enough

It was a chance incident that, after practicing later than everyone else, Makoto walked into the showers only to find Sousuke pathetically slumped against the wall, his face contorted in obvious pain. Naturally, Makoto pleaded with him that he take care of himself first and cease swimming if it had such a heavy toll on his body, but Sousuke refused and forced a promise out of the brunet - a promise not to tell Rin or anyone else, to not ruin his final year of swimming the way he wanted. 

Maybe because Makoto so begrudgingly accepted to remain silent, Sousuke didn't question the first time Makoto kissed his shoulder. It was a hurried action and he walked away as quickly as he could due to the heavy blush that had risen to his cheeks, but Sousuke never said he didn't like it. And so it became a habit for Makoto to plant the kiss onto his shoulder whenever they were alone and close enough.

"Do you really need to do this?" Sousuke grumbles, turning away. It's another joint practice and the locker room has been vacated by all the other swimmers, so it's only a matter of time before someone like Nitori is sent to come looking for the two of them, but before Sousuke can complain any further, Makoto leans down and presses his lips against he taller man's shoulders, then slowly does the same to the other. He lifts his blush-stained face and waits until Sousuke's gaze meets his again, those hard teal eyes now softened.

"If you want me to stop, then I will." It's the reminder Makoto gives him each time he dispenses another pair of his kisses, but Sousuke, as always, merely grunts vaguely in response before starting away, and Makoto follows him, a smile again on his face.

Now, he makes sure to give them before each joint practice they have and then again afterwards when the premises are deserted save for the two hushed men standing together under the running water, where Sousuke will wordlessly accept the kisses. They'll stay like this until he can compose himself well enough to face Rin with his usual unstirred expression, acting like nothing is wrong, and Makoto will go home and do the same, though the question of just how long Sousuke will be able to hold out always plagues Makoto’s thoughts whenever they can catch him.

During the nights they spend in Makoto's bed, house emptied so that there's nothing but the sound of their own hearts and breaths together, Makoto goes through the same ritual of kissing Sousuke's shoulders, though this time he indulges them both and makes sure that no area of those shoulders goes unkissed. It’s a pleasant change to have his shoulders tickle instead of simply hurt. Makoto cherishes these moments greatly; being alone with Sousuke, finally seeing the vulnerable, scared person lying beneath the mask he dons for everyone else, and being able to remind him that he isn’t truly alone.

Makoto only hopes that even without words, Sousuke understands the meaning behind the act; the small, heartfelt pleadings of "I hope you get better," and, "Please take care of yourself," nestled behind his lips.

Although he won’t admit it aloud, Sousuke feels a faint rekindling of hope whenever Makoto’s lips brush against the skin where, just underneath, are the torn and damaged muscles that have flipped his life for the worst. It’s not enough to heal him entirely, he knows, but somehow, the kisses are enough to calm his dread-filled thoughts, even if just for the night.

He relishes in the chance to watch as Makoto falls asleep little by little, the undercurrent of anxiety finally fading from Makoto’s features, and Sousuke can allow himself to sleep with ease as well.

Still, he wishes fervently that he could be the one to cradle Makoto against his chest. His damaged shoulders have taken a lot from him, even petty pleasures like this one. In the morning, when he wakes up to the pair of drowsy green eyes filled with love, but still tainted with pity, he receives his kisses with the kind of undeniable ache in his chest that can’t quite be soothed with this showering of affection and care, though he tries his best to hide that feeling from Makoto.

Maybe Makoto should have seen it coming, but during regionals, his world finally begins to unravel. It isn't enough that he doesn't qualify for finals, or that he has to watch helplessly as Haru ruins his own race and screams at Rin right after. It isn't enough that, at this point, his own future is still largely undecided and that the question of it continues to loom at the forefront of his thoughts.

When he finds Sousuke crying to himself in the showers, clutching desperately at his inflamed shoulder and biting back his pained cries, Makoto is finally at a complete loss. All he can do is sit beside Sousuke, afraid to touch him, settling instead for listening to the familiar sound of broken sobs leaving the mouth of someone who's tried so hard to be stoic and brave for the sake of everyone else around him. For the sake of his own dream, for that of his team and for his best friend. For the sake of easing Makoto of the worries he falls asleep to each night.

Makoto can feel his own tears beginning to well up in his eyes and he wonders to himself how he ever thought that his kisses really meant anything.

Even so, he eventually reaches out to wrap his arms around Sousuke’s broad, shuddering frame, resting his lips on the inflamed skin. He doesn’t know how else to ease Sousuke’s pain.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> [ty tumblr anon!!](http://soumakofics.tumblr.com/post/96150624126/makoto-kissing-sousukes-shoulders-in-the-morning-when)


End file.
